Seriously?!? Just When I Thought I had it Down Pat

When Chrystal Hurst announced blog hop Tuesday I was ecstatic and when she posted Psalms 136: 23 & 24 on her blog and asked us to dig deep I thought, "This is going to be easy-peasy". I've surrendered it all to God, I've asked God to search my heart and I've changed, A LOT.

So I began to pray with assertiveness:

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. -Psalm 139:23, 24

suddenly He began showing me certain moments in my life from this past year.  It was like I was outside looking in through a window from my house. I saw my pride rise up in me  while arguing having a discussion with my husband,  I saw the lack of patience I have towards my children,  and the one thing that I have trouble admitting to , the need to control my spouse.

My initial thought was, seriously?!? Just when I thought I had it down pat.

For a split moment disillusion arose in me, what I've accomplished this past year didn't mean much to me anymore. Just then God reminded me of what I've learned from the book Kingdom Woman.

"Excellence is not a destination; it is a continual process of transformation into who God wants you to be." - Tony Evans

This is it; this is part of my process of transformation! A Kingdom Woman seeks what matters most to God even if it means having to humble herself before God and others and acknowledging her faults.  All we have to do is turn them over to Him, it's not by our strength that we can accomplish these things, it’s by our weaknesses.

That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong. – 2 Corinthians 12:10

So, the next time you feel like you've got it all together, pray Psalms 139: 23 & 24 because your transformation has not ended, it’s only just begun.

Before I leave you I would like to share with you something that recently happened to me. The book Kingdom Man by Dr. Tony Evans was given to my husband as a gift but it stayed on the night stand without being read for almost 2 years. This Year Kingdom Woman was published and I did not hesitate to buy it.

The Book Kingdom Woman by Dr. Tony Evans and his daughter Chrystal Evans Hurst has really ministered to my life. The Biblical incites that Dr. Evans & Chrystal share in this book has encouraged me to pursue God and to become that Kingdom Woman. I now realize that I can achieve and be that Proverbs 31 Wife God speaks of in His Word.

As I was reading I felt this weight lift off my shoulders, this burden of wanting to do everything perfect and of feeling like a failure if I didn't obtain that goal.

God has been working in my life as a woman, wife and mom but has my husband noticed?

As I stated previously in my post I felt a bit of discouragement when I realized I didn't  have it all together but God did something to remind me that what I’m doing is not in vain.

Yesterday my husband and I pulled up at the same time in our cars to park. I was coming home from work and he was coming home from the park with our boys. When he got out of the car I immediately spotted something in his hand, Wait! It can’t be, but it is KINGDOM MAN!

Inside of me I was jumping for joy. I've been encouraging him to read the book and praying at the same time. He’s a great Man of God, husband and father but I know this book will help him by giving him the tools he needs to lead us.

I didn’t mention anything to him but later on that evening he expressed to me how he’s seen a change in me and that he wants to start doing his part as the HEAD of our family.

I tell you this because most of us women want to change or control our spouse but we can’t change anyone or control anything but ourselves. 

We need to take our place as Kingdom Women and God will take care of the rest!

Be encouraged today and always!

Sarah

Mom after God